Yo wassup my peeps!? This is our thing now. I post once in a while, y’all wonder why I’m so intermittent, we repeat. We be good though, we know how it is.
This time around, I’m gonna talk about some weirdness I experienced over the last two days (assuming I post this on time…)
This is more or less the end for me at university. I’ve loaded up my last set of classes, and by the end of the year I will have finished earning my bachelors degree. It’s a big thing, no? Maybe. Anyway, this also means I’m running out of time to make sure I keep in touch with my favourite people (yes, there are actually people I like), but I’m terribly shy so I keep not saying what’s important to the ones who mean the most to me. I’ve been putting these things off for years at this point, and it’s always bugged me because I don’t even know what I’m afraid is gonna happen. Rejection? Yeah, probably, but it wouldn’t even be the first time, plus I might be wrong and not get rejected!
This is where the strangeness comes in, but first a quick bit of background:
I normally wear two rings, both cheap costume jewelry, on my right hand. The newer of the two is a Harry Potter themed ring which of course represents one of my favourite franchises, but also several of my core values and my individuality and focus. The older ring is actually better made, and represents who I once was and how I used to be when I was younger and more assertive as a contrast to today where I’m basically a recluse. Generally, I’ve considered the older ring to be a reminder to myself of how much time I’ve wasted and how much more I could have been if I’d done as I should.
Now onto the weirdness:
On Monday, I lost the older of my rings. It’s a little big for the finger I have it on, so I am used to it slipping off in my pocket or at other times, but this time it genuinely seemed to be gone. My companion at the time (oh hi SC, if you’re reading) asked if I wanted to go look for it and I said it didn’t matter as the sentiment I wore the ring for was not that good anyway. So far so good, I put it out of my mind and went about the rest of my day without difficulty. When I finally went home, I emptied out my bag one last time to make sure it hadn’t fallen in and I’d just missed it earlier, but no such luck.
That night, however, I dreamed about several events associated with that ring and the things I had done along the way. At first I didn’t think anything of it, since the ring was on my mind so it made sense I might have related dreams, but then on Tuesday my mum showed me an old picture from that very time. There was no reason she would bring this up, as I hadn’t told her I lost that ring, nor had we been talking about anything related to it or the related events. It would have been shortly after I got the ring I believe, and was traveling in the American Southwest. I was in my prime in those days, and had my hair in a wild dreadlock-like look. Those pictures yanked me right back to who I was back then, and reminded me of who I thought I’d be today.
Ok, so far some odd coincidences, but nothing mind-blowing. At around noon, however, when I went o start doing homework, what should I find, lying in plain view near the top of my bag, but the old ring. Shiny and happy like it’d had never been lost at all. I, of course, gladly took the ring and put it on, but it seemed odd to me since I’d already checked pretty thoroughly to make sure it was in there. In any event, I had a meeting to go to that evening and was guaranteed to be late to due to traffic (oh hai MC, if you’re reading!) so I brushed it off and left the house.
For the rest of the night I just had a different feeling about everything. A slight feeling of dread, which isn’t unusual for me, and an excitement for every minute, which is kinda new. Now I’m pretty sure the whole thing was somehow meant to tell me this is the time to take some of the risks I’ve been putting off for so long and make the kinds of decisions that I know will help me find contentment.
So, as I type this up on my phone at 1am when I have to be up in less than six hours, I’m doing what I said I’d do last time I posted: keeping my eyes open and trying to improve. I think these odd events were meant to remind me of the vision I used to have for the future. I’m going to really try to make that vision a reality now. We’ll see how it goes.
Until next time, my friends.
(This post will probably be modified later to add music and stuff)