Tonight I am alone

Ok so I’m back a little bit quicker than usual. This (should) be fairly short because I’m really only doing it because I’m kinda bored and don’t know what to do with myself, which is pretty much the whole purpose of this post!

For music, some recent Paramore! Aren’t you glad it’s not old or anime? No? I don’t care.

First order of business: Why am I bored?

Oh good, an easy one. There are three main reasons:

(****! I can already tell this is gonna be less easy than I thought)

  • I’ve got the house mostly (my brother will still be around some) to myself over the next few days. This is the first time this has actually happened since summer of 2017, as, even though they technically live on the east coast of the US, one or both of my parents have been hovering around almost every day. However, now they’re taking a trip! So while I still have to put up with my brother, I can manage that well enough
    • Generally the problem has been trying to manage one or both of my parents and my brother at once. All of the above are nosy, most especially my brother. However, I can usually get rid of him if I’m forceful enough. It’s only when they gang up on me that it gets tricky
      • For this reason I don’t usually do much when they’re around
    • Side-note, both my parents will most likely be spending more time on the east coast soon because of changes to their circumstances, which should afford me much more freedom for the foreseeable future
      • Then again, this isn’t the first time this was supposed to happen, so I’m not placing any bets on that right now
        • I’m really hoping though
          • Like really
            • A lot
              • It would make me very happy
  • I’m a pretty boring person! I wish I could say there was some amazing drought of interesting things for me to do, but that’s simply not true. I’ve got films I want to watch, shows to catch up on, books, comics, video games, and tons of music discovery I could be doing. I’ve just got no real motivation to actually do any of it at the moment
    • Why? Dunno, I’ve been in a weird mood lately related to most of the stuff I usually whine about
      • Doesn’t hurt that, since I’m in school, I always feel I should be doing homework or reading or something else productive
        • Yes, I’m quite high-strung, what’s you point?
          • No, really, what are you trying to say?
    • In fairness part of this is just because it’s pretty sudden. I’m actually listening to music and trying to relax right now
      • It’s working pretty well, I just need some time to settle in to not having to meet expectations
  • Last major reason: I don’t actually know what to want. I’m very used to always having some arbitrary restriction on what I can and can’t do at any given time, so having no real limitations is a very odd feeling to me. I know how to accomplish goals and get work done, and I know how to help people, and I know how to plan ahead, but I don’t really know how to just spend time doing nothing.
    • Don’t get me wrong, I can kill time very well, I just don’t usually actually do much other than quietly wait for time to pass
      • Yes really. I just sit quietly in one spot, fairly still, looking like I’m meditating
        • I’m not meditating. I’m just waiting
    • Note I do not say I don’t know how to have fun. Fun I can do, it’s just that I usually focus on making sure other people are enjoying themselves and then satisfy myself with that
      • It’s just occur to me that I’m functionally a vampire or something just leeching off other people’s happiness
        • That sounds really bad… Not like I’m trying to ruin it or something, I just like seeing my people happy
          • You know what? Never mind, this probably can’t be salvaged

So yeah, that’s pretty much it for now. I couldn’t think what to do so I figured I’d get around to writing the follow-up blog I’d been putting off. Since I couldn’t get the motivation to do anything else, I thought I’d give this a shot and it worked! WOO!!

Ok that’s all. You can go now, thanks for reading!

Hello? Why are you still here? I’ve run out of stuff to say for now.

Oh ok, I’ll think of something. Em, I’m also thinking about getting Spider Man on PS4 on Friday? I’m kinda concerned about the game because the embargoes end so close to release date and that’s not usually a good thing. The reviews are really good though, and it looks cool so… I dunno. Conflicted. (lol that word could sum up my thoughts on basically everything)

For real now, I’m done. You can stay if you want, but I’m gonna go listen/sing along to some random music.

Thanks for reading, see you in the next one!

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